We’ve all been there. Your child does or says something and it hits you— they’re growing up too fast. How do you respond in the moment when that happens? I experience this often with my two girls. My immediate thought is usually something along the lines of, “Can you stay this little forever?” In truth, those words often progress from a fleeting thought to words that I actually say. There is a reality to your child growing up.
You see, the Lord never intended for us to keep our children to ourselves. If I truly examine my motives, my plea for them to stay little forever was an attempt to protect them. To shield myself from their eventual departure and to shield them from the inevitable pain of the broken world we live in. In my flesh, I want to protect. God’s Word, however, calls us to prepare them to be sent. Psalm 127 speaks to this idea of biblical parenting and gives us three important questions to ask ourselves as parents.
Psalm 127
1 Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
2 It is in vain that you rise up early,
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.
3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
1. Who is building your house?
“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” -Psalm 127:1
The foundation of biblical parenting must be set on the gospel. If you asked your friends today what isn’t most important to your family, what would they say? Would they say sports teams, little league, dance teams, your boat, your cottage? What is the thing for you that can easily become an idol? The answer to the question should be Jesus, our cornerstone and firm foundation in faith. If that’s not your answer, I would invite you to consider what changes need to be made in your life for Him to become the most important thing.
Building our home upon Him shifts your priorities, the way you offer grace to each other, and the way you interact with people on a daily basis. For discipleship to be a way of life, you must first create a home that invites God’s presence to be palpable and loving relationships to exist.
The foundation of biblical parenting is the gospel.
2. Who does your child belong to?
“Children are a heritage from the Lord.” -Psalm 127
Biblical parenting is all about understanding that your children are entrusted to you to guide and nurture before launching them into adulthood. Ultimately, they belong to the Lord. Psalm 139 reminds us that the Lord knew our children even when they were in their mother’s womb, that He formed their inward parts, and that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. Ephesians 2:8-10 tells us that we (including our children) are God’s handiwork and that we are created for good works.
The original Greek word translated as “workmanship” in the ESV is poema, which is also where we get the word “poem” in English. The God of the universe who created every human and everything, views us as his masterpiece— a work of art. Take a moment to reflect on that. Your child was formed by the Lord, known by Him, and created as a unique masterpiece for good works that they may walk in. They carry our DNA, but it’s the Lord who has ultimately formed and purposed them. They belong to Him. Our role is to shepherd and prepare them for a life filled with Kingdom work. Who do your children belong to? They belong to the Lord.
Our role as parents is to shepherd and prepare our kids for a life of Kingdom work.
3. Are you preparing them?
“Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them.” -Psalm 127
Children are a blessing. The Psalmist compares them to arrows in the hands of a warrior. The purpose of an arrow is to be sent, and if it never leaves the quiver it ceases to serve its purpose. Discipleship isn’t just a part of life; it’s a way of life. It permeates every aspect of being a follower of Jesus. Is that true for you? We’re not only meant to be disciples but to make disciples. Jesus tells us in Matthew 28, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.” There are three implications for biblical parenting in the Great Commission.
- Go and make disciples. Our faith is active. We prepare our children to be sent so that they can go and multiply other transformed followers of Jesus.
- Baptize them. We disciple our children so that they come to know the Lord, are baptized, and live for Jesus everywhere.
- Teach them all that Jesus commands us. Discipleship is a way of life.
The purpose of an arrow is to be sent, and if it never leaves the quiver it ceases to serve its purpose.
God’s Presence in Your Parenting
So, the next time you find yourself wishing your child could stay little forever, remember that our job isn’t to keep them small and protected forever. Instead, it’s to sharpen the arrows and send them out to make much of Jesus. In the process, God will also shape and mold you.
As Paul David Tripp says in his book Parenting, “So your hope as a parent is not found in your power, your wisdom, your character, your experience, or your success, but in this one thing alone: the presence of your Lord. The Creator, Savior, Almighty, Sovereign King is with you. Let your heart rest. You are not in this parenting drama alone. Your potential is greater than the size of your weaknesses, because the One who is without weakness is with you, and he does his best work through those who admit that they are weak but in weakness still heed his call.”
Let’s live in the sufficiency of Christ and not in our own strength, allowing Him to parent us as we parent our kids, and stay obedient to the call of intentional discipleship. To learn more about our family ministry at Chapel Pointe, you can visit our pages for kids, students, or young adults.
